We often hear friends describe someone we know as a great conversationalist and very often what they are really describing is someone whom we do our best to avoid. “Did you enjoy the party?” “No, I got lumbered with …. and couldn’t get away.” Or you phone a relative as a good Samaritan and prepare yourself for that one-way, self-indulgent conversation.
These gassy types I would describe as talking to themselves. The fact that you may or may not be interested in their conversation is not high on their agenda. They are a talking machine and you happen to be the poor sucker who is in their line of fire.
You remember the people who asks, “and how are you” and before you can tell that them your parents have emigrated and you have just landed a new exciting job and thanks for asking, they give you a long diatribe about themselves. They normally prefix each sentence with ‘I’ and will have an opinion on all subjects.
When I am carrying out career coaching sessions I find the Influencer personality type ( of my 4 personalities at work) will have the highest propensity to being a poor listener. The poor communicator will not discuss or conduct interactive conversations. They preach, pontificate and tell.
So next time your friend is introducing you to a colleague with the intro “Hi, come and meet …… They’re great fun and a great conversationalist”, be courteous, apologise first, then run for your life.